


Blooming

by NaturalAddict



Category: Kyou Kara Maou!
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Character Study, Fears and Pressure, M/M, Mild Angst, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21700495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaturalAddict/pseuds/NaturalAddict
Summary: Don't call me a wimp.
Relationships: Wolfram von Bielefeld/Shibuya Yuuri
Comments: 3
Kudos: 59





	Blooming

Yuuri is afraid. 

Always, always, for as long as he can remember. He's so afraid that he really isn't, so afraid that he doesn't notice it, not really, not enough for it to be a problem. 

Things are confusing. Not only in Shin Makoku, but also back on Earth. 

His mother is sweet. Dresses are flowy. His father is too calm. Baseball is fun. Hs brother is too odd. Family is important. His childhood is a mess.

Looking back at the photos, he wonders if his mother really would have preferred a girl. He wants to ask - wants to be reassured - but he never does. He is too afraid of the answer. 

Yuuri likes it when people are honest with him.

Honesty is something you can rely on. It makes everything easier, even when it still remains hard. Because when someone is honest, you can trust them fully, and when you are told things in their full extent, making a decision is a lot easier.

Yuuri likes honesty. 

In a way, that creates problems, because people aren't honest always, and he is more afraid of not believing the truth than he is of believing a lie. He wonders why.

Murata says he's not very honest with himself. 

He wonders why.

* * *

There are things which are best kept hidden.

Hidden behind a smile, or polite words. 

"Wolfram, this is too hard." 

Wolfram is pretty. That's still the first word that comes to his mind when he thinks of him, when he looks at the other and finds him looking back. 

"It's a children's book!" The blond protests, making the Maoh sigh.

Learning to read is such a pain. He has already gone through that once, why must he be subjected to it again? 

This is only happening now because of Wolfram's indignant surprise upon learning that Yuuri's native language actually uses three alphabets. How much harder can it be to learn one more?

Apparently, a lot harder. 

In the end, because of how the people here seem to be speaking Japanese to him, he has no sounds to put the letters to, the syllables odd and misplaced. So the words don't feel like words. The sentences don't feel like sentences. The language doesn't feel real. And in the end, he has no contact with it back home, so anything he learns during these torturous sessions is promptly forgotten.

"I know that, but it's still..." 

Wolfram's eyes darken, and his complaining cuts off. It may not look that way, but he is technically hiding how much he hates this. He is whining, complaining, pretending to have no energy left as he falls limp against the desk, but his hands still grip the book firmly even as he wants to toss it aside. He still turns back to it periodically, despite his growing frustration. 

If his fiancé knew how much he despises the activity, he'd never hear the end of it, and that might not even put a stop to this. It's best to keep his annoyance right under the surface. It's best. It's for the best. 

He feels Wolfram's eyes on him the entire time. 

Yuuri can't help but wonder what he is thinking. Yuuri is thinking of how they could be doing something else. 

"Alright, that's enough." The much older boy calls after what feels like hours of reading and re-reading the same page. "You're a wimp after all, so I can't expect too much."

"Don't call me a wimp." Such an immediate answer.

_Don't call me a wimp._

Because then, he really has to wonder if he is imagining the disappointment in Wolfram's voice.

Because he is well-aware of his shortcomings. He doesn't care about his pride, but still.

"Well, you are a wimp, so it can't be helped." 

_Dont call me a wimp._

Because what if it really is true?

Yuuri shakes his head and smiles. These thoughts must be kept hidden, too. 

* * *

At night, he watches Wolfram. The blond mazoku sleeps peacefully even if messily, and it's heartwarming in a strange way. 

In fact, a lot of things about his fiancé are strange. How he was so offended to be proposed to, yet he's never once asked Yuuri to cancel their engagement after the Maoh won their little duel. It's to do with self-respect, he's said, but does Wolfram really think being with someone he doesn't love is respectful to himself?

Yuuri wonders. And Yuuri is afraid. 

Each time the blond male accuses him of cheating, he almost says, I would never do it.

That's not all.

He wants to hold Wolfram's hand as they walk along the hallways. He wants to kiss him every time he smiles. He wants to be able to protect him too.

And he wants... He wants to say... He wants to say it. Yet, he doesn't.

Things will change if he says it. Which could be either amazing or awful. 

The signs in his favour are there, but Wolfram doesn't say it either, and the word _self-respect_ replays in his head when he thinks about it too long or too hard.

Yuuri doesn't need that, so he doesn't need to be with someone who loves him back, either. 

It hurts, but so do a lot of things. 

He closes his eyes resolutely. Things are fine as they are. 

In his sleep, Wolfram mumbles, _wimp_ as he tugs him closer.

It's incredibly unlikely that he'll wake up, so Yuuri lets his arms wrap around him in return and breathes out evenly. 

He knows why he is dishonest, he thinks, though Murata is far from his mind now. 

_Wimp,_ Wolfram says again, louder. 

"Yeah," he whispers softly back, a faint response. 

It's because he is afraid. 

Perhaps, he thinks distantly, most people are.

"Yeah."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope to write more cheerful things in the future

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Wimp](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22136929) by [Larkawolfgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larkawolfgirl/pseuds/Larkawolfgirl)




End file.
